A dear friend went to the hospital in October 2022, Beau "Bo" Shores. He was in a very challenging and painful end of life circumstance. When I visited him I looked for opportunities for a small happiness because there wasn't any choice for big happinesses and it was important to acknowledge that. We found some small happinesses and it helped us feel good together for a little while. He was moved to his own private room (small happiness). We listened to classical music on his radio (small happiness). He had some pineapple juice (small happiness). We enjoyed the view from the hospital window (small happiness). We drank cold kombucha (small happiness). We sat together quietly with no words (small happiness). I gave him a neck and shoulder rub (small happiness). We watched some videos of his friends wishing him well. At that stage it was hard for him to see the videos. He told me to "be soft", so I turned down the volume and gave lots of space in between my sentences before I played the videos for him. Then he opened his eye to see the video (small happiness). He spoke to his sister on the phone for a long time and talked about beautiful things in his life and said how much they loved each other (big happiness). He passed away Dec 23, 2022.
Facing Death and Finding Hope: A Guide to the Emotional and Spiritual Care of the Dying - A Guide to the Emotional and Spiritual Care of the Dying by Christine Longaker.
This book was helpful when I was working with the death of my grandparents. Although they did not have a strong spiritual practice, the book helped me to care for them with peace and equanimity.
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